I'll Never Love Again
by angelfishlex
Summary: Connor and Danielle have an emotional night together in the months between Rocco being killed and the climactic trial of Yakavetta. In continuity from "Where No One Stands Alone" and my other BDS stories. ONE-SHOT. ConnorXOc. My first of anything written on here in a few years. Please R&R. Title is based on "I'll Never Love Again" by Lady Gaga from the film "A Star Is Born"


**AN: Hello my fellow Boondock fans! I know its been an eternity since I last wrote anything of meaning. So much has happened to me professionally and personally over the last few years that its left my muse and motivation to write defeated. Specifically, losing my best friend a few months back to a sudden aneurysm.**

 **But, for now, something has surfaced. If you've read my previous works on BDS, then you're familiar with my female OC, Danielle Smecker. I encourage anyone to catch up on those stories if you want more context, but this is just a one-shot set during my first story featuring the character, 'Where No One Stands Alone'. I don't know when I will publish anything next, but here's what I have for now. Please enjoy and review!**

 _ **Dani's POV:**_

Feeling refreshed and relaxed, I freed my wet hair from my towel and shook out the water. Shivers of anticipation vibrated through long with the goose-bumps overtaking my exposed flesh. I checked my clock on the bedside table to see that it was approaching 11 in the evening.

Any minute now my darling Irishman would arrive for a first time bedroom rendezvous under the secrecy of the stars and moon.

God save the souls of my Uncle Paul, Murphy, and most recently Noah MacManus…

Nobody else knew about mine and Connor's relationship progressing from a dynamic of comrades into that of lovers. Thinking of that horrible and enticing night a month prior to tonight caused my consciousness spin into near delirium.

The night Connor and Murphy lost Rocco, discovered the mysterious assassin paroled out of prison to hunt them down was their own father and later into the darkest corners of impulsiveness that I had given the whole of my entire heart and body to the more abrasive of the MacManus brothers.

I grabbed my bathrobe off its hook on my bathroom door, and went to work on straightening my still soaked hair with my fingers. Leaving my hair down to air dry, I pulled on a plain black tank and pajama shorts since I knew both boys could not have cared less about my fashion sense.

My bedroom window was open the widest it would go, the warm summer breeze caressing my face and neck. Taking deep breaths in sync with the clock ticking, I removed the various stuffed animals from my bed and threw them underneath. But not before giving my green rabbit Clover a quick peck on the nose.

I strictly only had them for decoration, and I could not find it in myself to part with them as a memory to my parents.

Steadying my breaths, I plopped down onto the bed and tried to focus on anything else other than my scoundrel in a black pea-coat on his way to spend a hopefully romantic evening with me. I was thankful that Uncle Paul would be working overnight so as to be spared the sneaking around of an enamored Irishman involved with his precious niece, let alone being physically intimate in the agent's own home.

Smiling to myself, I recalled the day two weeks ago when I sat down with both Connor and Paul to tell him of confirming our relationship as a couple…

.

.

.

 _All three of us sat in the living room, Connor and I on the sofa and Paul on the main chair. He never took his eyes off either of us. His sharp gaze focused especially on my hand cradled in Connor's, a soothing gesture assuring me of his presence._

 _Connor looked my uncle straight in the eye as he sat up straight, confident and yet humble. He was willing to forsake his crass attitude and cockiness in order to show Paul the utmost respect not only as his confidential friend but as my legal guardian who could easily tear us apart just by following the law._

" _Agent Smecker." Connor was the first to speak before I could. "Sir… Dani and I have come to ya because we both have been through hell and back since St. Patty's Day."_

 _I squeezed his hand in encouragement for him to continue. Without breaking eye contact with my uncle, he nodded in my direction and inhaled a deep breath._

" _We both feel that you deserve to know how she's been treated during our excursion as Saints. Please believe me when I say this." I could feel the tremble begin in my Irishman's palm as his fingers gently curled around my knuckles. "I've fallen in love with her, and I know that's not the life you want for her. This amazin' lass took a bullet for me an' I know in yer eyes, I will never be worthy of her affections. As the man charged by the law with her welfare, I understand if ya wanna slap yer handcuffs on me now an' haul me away."_

 _Connor paused in his speech, never breaking from his stare down against Uncle Paul. I remained silent as I tried to calm my pounding heartbeat. My uncle remained stoic and still as a statue absorbing every word the man across from him was proclaiming with surefire passion and bravery._

" _That night Murph an' I found her, I sure as hell didn't plan on fallin' in love. But I knew it the minute she walked into that police station an' said she wanted to join us." Connor turned to me then, his gaze softening as his other hand raised up toward my face, his fingertips lightly tracing down my jaw-line to my chin. Closing my eyes in bliss to his touch, a blush crept along my cheeks momentarily until I remembered where we were and that we had an audience. "I've never felt this way fer any woman 'til now."_

 _Uncle Paul leaned further until his elbows were propped on his knees, his gaze shifting between both me and Connor. He sighed a deep long breath as his head hung down in exhaustion. After a lengthy inaudible second, my uncle spoke up in response, his tone thick with conviction and strictness that I rarely heard considering his eccentricity._

" _Danielle, you're legally an adult and are capable to deciding for yourself your own path in life. Is it true what Connor just said to me? And do you return these feelings for him? And considering the events of the night they found you in that alleyway, did you always feel safe with him?" His questioning possessed the pitch of an interrogation, but I knew his reason being for my protection._

 _Taking a gulp to hold back the memory of that night, I opened my mouth to speak, enlightened by Connor's warm grasp on my hands._

" _Uncle Paul, I can tell you that even though we may not have known each other long enough to be considered as a true couple by dating standards, you can easily imagine that we didn't really have time for candlelit dinners and fancy hotel rooms with rose petals. Every day since we met, we didn't know if one of us wasn't going to die. For all the arguments and disagreements Connor and I had in our growing friendship, we had amazing moments that we will always remember as being special. He literally carried me every time I felt weak or hurt myself. He comforted me every time I cried and felt alone. He never took advantage of my vulnerability being the only girl in a group of crazy, unpredictable men."_

 _Uncle Paul sat back in his chair this time, taking in my desperate words as I internally begged him to accept our relationship. His gaze lost the flame of suspicion as he continued to scrutinize the both of us._

 _After five elongated seconds, Connor spoke up again._

" _Agent Smecker, I ask ya not only as yer friend but as a man who would give anything to protect this beautiful woman beside me. Without hesitation, I'd turn meself into the cops now if it meant she'd be safe from our enemies." His voice deepened with the sincerity of his words. Tears of disbelief welled in my eyes as Connor voiced the measures he would take to protect me. "I'll never give my heart to another stranger should anything keep us apart. She's the only one fer me now and forevermore."_

 _Gasping in joy, I lifted Connor's hand to my lips and kissed his warm palm before I could stop myself. While witnessing my display of sudden happiness, Uncle Paul sat back up again rapt attention at the conclusion of Connor's declaration._

 _Breaking away from my uncle's debating stare, Connor turned to me and enfolded his arm around my waist to pull me close to his side. Allowing us all the more physical contact and daring the man in front of us to protest…_

 _Resting my head upon his shoulder, I wiped the few flowing tears from my cheeks as Connor enfolded both arms securely about my waist. I was his as much as he was mine, come what may…_

 _We both turned to him, anxious to receive his answer. Connor pressed his lips to my forehead in a chaste show of affection, the least he could do in front of my uncle…_

 _Leaning back and folding a leg over a knee in a casual posture of decision, Uncle Paul held us with his disciplined gaze, nodded his head in a slow manner and gave his definitive answer._

" _Alright. But don't fuck it up, MacManus." Uncle Paul held out his hand to Connor and my Irishman followed suit, giving a handshake of mutual agreement to fare for my happiness._

 _._

 _._

 _._

My eyes shot open as I realize that I had dozed off. A tapping on the side of the house alerted me to the presence of my vigilante rogue.

Since my uncle and I lived in a moderately furbished one-story house, it allowed access easy for Connor to climb through my bedroom window. Luckily the window was at an angle that wouldn't cause alarm to the neighbors.

Feeling ecstatic to a nearly stupid degree, I leapt out of bed and raced to the window, eager to be in his arms again. He appeared out of the shadows, shaking off some thorny branches that were clinging to his leg from the bushes. Irritated grunts and various curses emanated from him as I chuckled at his dilemma.

Deciding to be coy at his current preoccupation, I leaned forward on the windowsill and sighed in a dramatic approach.

"Excuse me, sir. I'm waiting for my dashing knight in shining armor to rescue me from this tower of mine." I caught Connor's face as he looked up at me in the dim streetlights. His eyes lit up in mischief and he growled as he swung his leg up over the windowsill.

"My love, I'm kinda short on armor, ya know?" He climbed inside as I shut the window. I heard the rustle of his pea-coat as he removed it and set it onto my desk chair in the corner. "But yer worth all the dangers in the world it'd take endurin' to save ya." He removed his muddy boots as well much to my relief.

Connor reached his hand into his pocket after I turned away from locking the window. Curious,I looked at what he had in his hand and felt my legs shaking. A wooden box of dark mahogany, something used in a jewelry store.

"What is that?" I nearly whispered as he took my hand and led me to my bed. We sat down, our knees brushing each other.

"It's fer you." He purred just as softly as he held the box out for me to take it. "And before ya see what it is, just know that me an' yer uncle coordinated together on it." I looked into his blue eyes, trying to comprehend what he meant.

Not finding any words to respond with, I only nodded my head and opened to smooth lid with shaking fingers. Inside was a sterling silver heart-shaped locket embedded with three-leaf clovers on the surface and the chain strung up by lime green clovers glittering in the lamplight of my room.

Looking up into Connor's eyes again, I saw his apparently nervous expression fall into anticipation as I inspected the trinket's beauty in astonishment. "Connor… it's gorgeous! But…but you shouldn't have spent your money on it, not for me. It's not my birthday or anything." He gently took my hand as I continued rambling pointlessly. "Why did you get this for me? It's…it's not…"

I gave up on words, admitting to myself that this was indeed the finest gift I had ever received.

"I got it fer ya because I wanted to truly show ya how much you meant to me, Danielle." His other hand tenderly held my cheek in the most feather light way possible. "But look what's inside the locket to see what the most important part is."

His gaze drifted down to the locket in my hands. Undoing the clasp with my now steady fingers, I opened the heart and froze in melancholy nostalgia. Within the necklace itself was a portrait of me along with my parents on the day of my high school commemoration from over a year ago. My proud mother and father at both my sides, beaming with pride at my success and my slightly younger self clad in a deep blue gown and graduation cap, holding my diploma. Looking up at Connor in wonder, he only smiled in knowing sympathy with me as he pressed his forehead to mine.

"When I saw that locket, I immediately thought o' you. But I asked yer uncle to find me the most recent picture o' yer folks. He was afraid it'd make ya upset, but I wanted to give ya somethin' more than just a shallow piece o' silver." Connor removed the locket from my lap and slowly closed the lid before maneuvering the chain to lock comfortably around my throat. "Any bastard can buy his girl a meaningless necklace, but I wanted to show ya how yer parents will always be with ya."

The locket rested upon my bosom as I turned to Connor, trying to find appropriate words to say to him. Should he have given me something so personal and sensitive to me so soon into our relationship? As I debated inside my head what to say, he appeared to read my expression and he hung his head in defeat.

"Dani, if it's too much fer ya, I can take it back. Ya shouldn't feel like ya have to wear it." Sighing in my direction, his fingers stroked my neck just below my jaw. "If ya don't want it, ya can remove the picture an' sell it." His tone of voice carried the bitterness of the past few weeks since Rocco's death. And I didn't want him to say anything other negative thing tonight…

Leaning forward, I grabbed my Irishman and pulled him in to a kiss. Initiating the kiss myself wasn't something I was used to, but I took control anyway. Mere words would never be enough to convey my feelings on his gift to me. My heartbeat increased as the heated passion flowed through my body.

His arms wrapped around me as he fell back onto the bed, pulling me to be on top of him. Connor's strong hands caressed my back up and down and eventually reached upwards to stroke my hair. After a few minutes, we pulled away to take a breather and he was nearly gasping as we both laughed with one another in ecstasy.

"Danielle, ya just made me melt with that kiss o' yers. Does that mean yer not angry about the necklace?" His voice dripped with uncertainty.

"No, baby." I whispered to him as I pulled him close again, our noses and foreheads grazing each other. "It's more than anyone could have ever given me."

Connor's eyes twinkled at my use of that term of affection for him. It just slipped out by accident, but sounded so effortless.

"I just need to know… did you truly mean that when you told Uncle Paul that day. That I'd be the only woman for you from now on? That's a really serious vow you're taking." We locked eyes again as we moved up on the bed to lean against my pillows. "And I know you've been with other women before we met, others that are prettier and flashier. And I don't really have anything to give back to you in return for this necklace…"

Connor instantly held me to him as I voiced my insecurities, my head resting on his chest. It was normal to feel unsure when you started thinking about the others that came before. My voice faded away from my own ears as the Irishman sighed in deep contemplation before tipping my chin up to look into his serious gaze.

"Are ye familiar with the books o' Jane Austen, Dani?" Connor asked with a near challenging edge to his voice.

Puzzled by this sudden question, I leaned up from his hold on my chin to answer. "Yes. We mostly studied _Pride & Prejudice_ in my senior year. Why?"

Conner rolled over until he was hovering above me, his arms on both my sides supporting himself, his eyes never leaving mine. A smirk crossed his lips for a split second before settling into a serene smile like that of a man seeing the sunlight after lifelong blindness. His voice rumbled through me as it deepened into pure seduction and conviction of my power over his heart.

"You have bewitched me, body an' soul." His lips kissed my forehead as I tried to keep my own breathing steady. "An' I love," He kissed then my own lips, his stubble tickling my face. "I love," He moved to my neck with incredible care, gracing it with a touch as though anything rougher would snap it in two. "I love you, my Danielle." A moan escaped me as he saved the longest kiss for the spot where my locket lay, next to the beating source pumping energetic lust underneath my skin. "An' you've given me everything I need just by bein' with me outta all the men in the world."

The world melted around us we both became lost in our euphoric bliss. Nothing else mattered the rest of that night as we lay in bed cherishing each other in these few moments of peace. It wouldn't last forever, but we would try to make them go on as long as possible.


End file.
